Long Live the Struggle!

Listening to Elder Holland’s Mormon Message about things getting better reminded me of the circumstances of my life since my marriage. I married my wife on August 23, 1997. We lived in Florida making slightly better than minimum wage, at no less than four jobs, for five years. I attempted to go to school at the local community college. I was in my first semester back since my pre-mission semester when I found out that my wife was pregnant and had our first daughter. I started a computer company which shortly failed for lack of payment by my customers. After this latest thwart, we moved to Utah to downsize our lives and work without overtime or travel (as I always seemed to have to travel or work overtime). I would attend at SLCC, finally. When I got out there I learned that their residency requirements changed and I had to wait. I had two jobs and another daughter in 2003. Eventually, I started a mortgage company which did very well, until 2006.

          We then moved back to Florida where I started a job as a traveling IT Engineer. It involved an immense amount of travel. I forsook attempts at an education but prayed for the opportunity if the Lord would have me do so. We had our first son. I took on extra travel for the hours. We had another son. I was now locked in knowing my window of opportunity for an official education had closed. Two years ago, I heard about Pathway. I completed the program and enrolled at BYU-Idaho. I am now in my second semester and I’m going to complete a Bachelor’s Degree. We have lived in eight homes in 19 years of marriage, two of them we owned. I’ve had many jobs, been unemployed four times, and suffered lots of sleepless nights.

          I am now starting my third business, working more than full time, travelling, and attending school at night, online, from Idaho. I couldn’t be happier. I’ve learned that the struggle is the point. It would be boring to always be arriving. I learn the most when I struggle and overcome. If you quit, you’ll miss that. Long live the struggle.

Principle over Passion

     I was thinking about this week’s Journal Entry whilst listening to a TED talk from 2008. It was given by Jonathan Haidt and it was about the moral roots of differing political schools of thought. During the presentation wherein he explains that people typically can’t find common ground because both sides enter into a "group-think" where they ignore truth and give in to sanctimonious posturing against the foe. He explains the process by which we can avoid such folly. 

     Haidt says, when confronted with the opportunity to vilify and disparage your adversaries on philosophical issues, 
"... just try to see it as a struggle playing out, in which everybody does think they're right, and everybody, at least, has some reasons — even if you disagree with them — everybody has some reasons for what they're doing. Step out. And if you do that, that's the essential move to cultivate moral humility, to get yourself out of this self-righteousness, which is the normal human condition."

     This goes hand in hand with what Stephen R. Covey was attempting to explain with his rule, “First seek to understand, then seek to be understood.” Many of us entrench ourselves with an “us vs. them” or “good vs. evil” mindset when debating or struggling over issues. Often we ignore what is right and concern ourselves far too much with who is right. We need to find the morality, the common purpose, filter that through the will of our Father in Heaven, and then together we can choose the most effective course. This converts an emotional discussion into a mathematical decision. It only happens when both sides can agree on the principle, not the passion.

Haidt's TED talk

Mind Over Matter...

Over the past few weeks, my workload has been significant. I’ve had long hours at the office. My startup has been fed only by my ability to double dip tasks for which I have little time. My schoolwork reading and video watching is largely done on the can. I find myself mining precious minutes out of every day. Now, what I’m doing with those minutes is that which I really am most proud. I’m spending them with my children.

          This past week, I was able to make it to my eldest son’s drum lesson on Tuesday. I took my youngest daughter to get a full Irish breakfast last Saturday (she wouldn’t even taste the blood pudding). I even found a few minutes to take a nap with my youngest son today and took a ride with my college age daughter to get dog food in the next town so we could discuss her future plans and I could dispense unwanted advice.

          I even got in a date with the wife on Friday night. She was impressed. At times, the weight of the burdens we carry can be daunting. I have found out something rather interesting, in this regard. You don’t have to necessarily hoist the whole world, you just need to keep it of the ground.

          Sometimes, you do enough in one aspect of your life so that you can do your best in another. I have never and likely will never have the energy to give 100% in every aspect of my life, so I prioritize. Proverbs 16:32 teaches: “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.” If I can devote my best to the important things, the rest of my concerns can and will take care of themselves. It’s sort of mind over matter. I won’t mind, because to me, it won’t matter.

Shifting Gears

Knowing how to change course is one of the most vital skills any student of entrepreneurship can have. One should never make changes for the sake of making changes. After careful consideration, evaluation, and contemplation, pulling the trigger is the next most important thing. I remember my first start up. I had flaws in my business model making custom computer systems. I called my humble little shop Valkyrie Computing Systems.

With a budget of a $10,000 credit card line and my IT skills, I went about building machines to order. If you wanted to do gaming, video editing, media storage, or just check your email and send pictures to the grand kids, I could get you everything you needed and nothing you didn’t for the best price, guaranteed. If only I could have gotten my customers to pay for the machines.

I learned very quickly that people shop with their lion hearts but pay with alligator arms. I changed my method of collections, but to no avail. I eventually had to close down for lack of funds. It was a $10,000 hard knocks business school course/workshop. I regret nothing. It taught me about sales, customer service, and most of all, when to cut bait.

I learned to never develop emotional attachments to things which only exist to fulfill a mathematical need. If the math says it goes, it goes. And that ability to change gears has made my life an easier cruise around the block.